A Letter of Remembrance
Death is an unfortunate aspect of life and losing the ones we hold dear can challenge our inner strength. Often we are not prepared for the loss and can be abruptly tossed into a whirlwind of precise decision making feeling as though we are drowning in a sea of voices. Once the noise quiets down and the shock of it all relaxes enough, then we are able to shift our focus onto things needing to be addressed; for example, the funeral arrangements and direct burial service. One of the most relevant pieces to be tackled is placing pen to paper and writing our loved one’s obituary.
When contemplating what needs to be stated, there are a few factors that must be considered. What was this person’s wishes upon their death? How did this individual want to be remembered? Are they a religious person, a child of faith, or where they spiritual at all? Who did they want to care for their body after their journey ended here on earth? Most importantly, did they want to have a direct burial
service by the plot, a cremation service, or a veterans funeral service; if applicable? The best source of information to assist in the process will be the funeral directors and funeral homes; which is suggested by sixty-five percent of people over the age of forty.
Writing content for our loved one’s obituary is never easy and at this crucial time can be quite painful, but a comfort at the same time. There are a few items to remember when engaging this task as we walk tentatively through this journey. Let’s start with the announcement of their death to inform those who may not yet know that they have passed. This will include the day of the week and the date in which it occurred, along with their name and whom they may have left behind.
Secondly, provide general biographical text giving information about them; their date of birth, their upbringing, education, marriage facts, accomplishments they may have obtained, and their work history. Be sure to keep this portion compact and precise. Next will contain a bit more personal information, mainly to capture the spirit of our family members. Make certain to only write about a paragraph in length, anything more can be viewed as incongruous.
Following will be a list of immediate family members, ones preceded in death and ones survived by in life. Finally, we reach the funeral information, this will record the date, time and location of the direct burial where others may join to pay their respects. If this is a Jewish funeral service, this will be where we list the Shiva information. Giving the days, dates, times and location are very important so others may respect the time of mourning.
Always be sure to review the writing before sending it off to be printed for any mistakes. Go over all of the content written for any corrections on the date, time and location of the direct burial service and the Shiva information so no one feels insulted by a simple mistake. Ask for help if there are any misunderstandings through this process, never feel lost or shamed. Take time to process and breathe, this is an important piece in showing our loved ones final respect before accepting what is and moving forward in our journey.